Celebrating At Your House vs Celebrating At The Community
For dementia care partners with a parent or partner in memory care, this is a common dilemma. Should you bring your loved one to your house, or not? What’s the “right” answer? It depends.
The questions below will help you make the decision that’s going to work best for your family. This exercise also works if your parent or partner lives at home; most questions will help you picture the “right” size/scale of your celebration.
1.What are you hoping for at this holiday gathering? Is bringing your parent or partner home going to advance that?
2. Are you willing to modify and adapt to your parent or partner’s needs, or are you expecting him or her to adapt to yours and the rest of the family’s?
3. What’s the advantage to your parent or partner of bringing him or her to your home, over celebrating at his or her memory care community?
4. How does your parent or partner usually react when you take him or her to your house? Does it go smoothly? How long does he or she usually tolerate the visit?
5. How long does it take to get to your house?
6. Who will be at your house? Familiar people? Lots of young kids and others that are usually only seen once a year or so?
7. What’s the anticipated noise level? Is there a quiet, out of the way space (think, Soothing Room) that your parent or partner can access if the environment becomes overwhelming?
8. Are you able to provide the personal care your parent or partner requires, including incontinence care, bathing, and dispensing medications?
9. Do you have a plan in place for how to manage a meltdown?
10. What’s your gut/intuition/inner voice telling you?