Did you feel the difference in the air yesterday? I felt it here in Portland, OR. Love was all around, out in full force.
Whether you weren’t interested in the Royal Wedding even a little or had your bleary eyes glued to BBC America from 1 am Pacific on, Bishop Michael Curry said it best: “There’s power in love.” (His full remarks are here–and well worth the watch.)
Energy Is Contagious
Love is so powerful that I routinely ask you, advise you, urge you to bring the Good Stuff–respect, kindness, love, empathy, and compassion–into every interaction. Love, of course, is the greatest of these. I tell audiences that if this is the only thing they remember and act on later, life with their person is going to get measurably better.
Why does it get better? Because energy is contagious. So when you bring the Good Stuff to your person, you’re creating a positive feedback loop. They’re receiving what you’re bringing and sending it back to you. And you’re receiving it and sending it back, ad infinitum.
That message seems to resonate. But I’m not sure people are really hearing the other part.
I ask, advise, urge, beg you to bring the Good Stuff for yourself.
It’s too easy to listen to the nasty little voice in our heads. Often, we’re not even consciously aware of it because it’s been running on autopilot for so long. It can show up in different guises, too.
There’s the vicious whisper that assures us we have no idea what we’re doing and are going to completely f-up the entire situation.
The flip side of the vicious whisper is the scientific whisper that urges us to gather more information before taking any sort of action, because we wouldn’t want to get anything wrong, so of course we should spend all our energy googling for answers and going down the inevitable rabbit trails that produces.
See, like love, the vicious whisper has power, too. The question is, which power do you want to use?
I See You
Filling yourself with the Good Stuff gives you the ability to share it with your person, with others around you, with the world. And as we felt again yesterday, energy is contagious.
Taking a moment to ponder what kind of energy you’re sharing is great. But better yet, take a moment to really internalize this: Whether you believe it in this moment or not, you are equally as important as your person. Just because you are. Because you exist.
You are worthy of respect, kindness, love, empathy, and compassion. You deserve it, and you don’t have to do anything to earn it.
I know you get tired sometimes. Feeling worn down, beat down, wondering if anything will ever get better. Everyone has those moments. And if it was your best friend going through that, you’d no doubt respond with respect, kindness, love, empathy, and compassion. But you don’t always do that for yourself.
When you can’t do it for yourself, know that I see you. I see your intrinsic value, I know that you’re worth it, I’m sending you the Good Stuff. And I am always, always rooting for you.
Christy Turner is a speaker, the founder of DementiaSherpa.com, creator of the program Memory Care at Home, and a regular guest on The Alzheimer's Podcast. She's enjoyed the privilege of working with over 1,200 people living with dementia and their families...including multiple experiences in her own family.